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Mediation is a popular method of ADR. Mediators are trained professionals typically lawyers or child custody experts who assist the spouses in working out their differences. The couple will provide the mediator with information and documents such as tax returns in advance and meet with the mediator as often as necessary to reach a settlement.
The goal is to reduce the settlement terms to a written agreement. Mediation is ordinarily much less stressful than a contested divorce. In fact, having attorneys present can at times be counterproductive, particularly if an attorney is combative. You will have to pay the mediator, but that cost is usually shared.
Collaborative divorce is another form of ADR. Attorneys who practice collaborative law often have special training in this area. And to ensure that they keep their focus on settlement, the law in most—if not all—states won't permit them to represent the spouses in future court proceedings, should the negotiations fail. Collaborative law is grounded in a "team" approach.
All participants are obligated to work together to reach an agreement. Any experts that take part in the process such as accountants, property appraisers, and child psychologists —where custody is an issue must be neutral and agreed to by both spouses. This could mean a significant additional expense, because these new lawyers will have to familiarize themselves with the case, from scratch. Whereas mediation and collaborative divorce are geared to settling your case, the goal of arbitration is for the arbitrator to adjudicate the matter and issue a decision, much as a judge would after a trial.
Divorce arbitration may not be available in all states, so check with a local attorney to find out if it's practiced where you live. Arbitration has benefits over a court trial.
You and your spouse get to choose the arbitrator. Also, you can decide to relax the usual rules of evidence. The major drawback of arbitration is that the decision is binding and final. With a court trial, you can appeal almost as a matter of course. This can get pricey, particularly with complex cases.
If everything is in order, a judge will approve the settlement and issue a final judgment of divorce. No matter which route you choose to take with your divorce, consider consulting an experienced family law attorney, who can help guide you through the process.